This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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