My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
