And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize