Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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