I heard we made out
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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