some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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