Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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