Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
