Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
