you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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