eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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