HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
