I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
