All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
