What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
