Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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