I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
