i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
