I bet he comes in French.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
