I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
