I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
