Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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