Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
