I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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