the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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