And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
