would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
