The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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