i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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