had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
