On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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