Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got chris browned last night
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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