I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
