You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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