another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
