i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
