Will you blow on my dice?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize