Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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