sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Houston, we have a blender
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
