You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
