I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
