just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
