I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
