i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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