yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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