Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
