I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
