is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
