Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
