So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
