I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
