Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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