he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
