that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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