Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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