Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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