TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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