Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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