I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's blow job season.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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