The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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