you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
