yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize