I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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